Does He Really Love Me?
by Sandjewel
Summary: Oneshot. Goldenflower and Sasha reflect on Tigerstar and the fate of their kits. What does the future hold for them? Tigerstar, meanwhile has his own ambitious ideas about their future...


_I think that this was one of my very first, if not FIRST fanfiction ever. I found it on my computer and decided to post it. Feel free to read and tell me what you think! I'm not a big fan of this story, personally, it's not my best work... And I realize the constant switching viewpoints is annoying. I apologize for that. Yes, all those break lines annoy me too. :P_

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**Does He Really Love Me?**

A muffled squeak sounded in the darkness. Goldenflower looked down, amber eyes glowing in the dark of the den. "Oh Bramblekit," she sighed. Pushing him off of his sister, she curled the young tom closer to her belly. Tawnykit hissed at her brother, but fell silent again as Goldenflower used a gentle golden paw to push her closer as well. Their small mouths stretched open in yawns to reveal bright pink tongues. Relishing the warmth of their mother's body, the kits soon lay still and fell asleep again. Goldenflower couldn't help but gaze at them, her expression filled not with pride as most mothers should show, but longing. These kits would never know a true father.

* * *

Sasha sat inside the nursery with her newborn kits at her side. She bent slowly to touch their heads in turn. One golden she-cat and a dark tabby tom. "Well. Everything seems to be fine," whispered Mudfur, the Riverclan medicine cat. "I'll leave you in peace now."

Sasha watched as the tom's tail slipped out of the entrance to the nursery like a snake. She relocated her eyes so that they rested on her kits. But her mind was not truly dwelling on them. It was hovering with thoughts of Tigerstar. The huge, rumbling muscles underneath his formidable tabby pelt. The dark red-brown stripes running down his side like a wild tiger. The deep amber eyes with a cold, burning passion. He had captivated her. She had never seen a light burn so strongly. Now, this Tigerclan was her home because these were his kits. But the huge tom had not even appeared to check on his kits or his mate. She tore her eyes away from her kits to glance at the pale blue glow coming from the moonlight outside, seeping in through the gap that was the nursery entrance. She longed to glimpse a flash of yellow and see the commanding face of Tigerstar appear. But besides herself, and her kits, there was no other cat.

* * *

A bone clattered and rattled as it tumbled down the hill of bones. Tigerstar watched it fall with a hard happiness. The cats of the forest had a choice. They could either join him and be united, like the bones linked together that he was sitting upon now, or fall to their death, like the mouse bone that had just lost its place. His mouth curled up into a cold smile. Just then, a pattering of pawsteps interrupted his thoughts of glory and power. "What is it Mudfur?" he hissed.

"Your mate, Sasha, has had her kits, Tigerstar. There is a tom and a she-cat. Very beautiful." Mudfur replied, trying to keep an even tone around the massive leader.

Tigerstar purred deep in his throat; quite a menacing rumble that felt as if it could shake the earth. "Thank you Mudfur." And he slithered off the Bonehill and disappeared inside the nursery.

* * *

Goldenflower could stand it no longer. Making sure her kits were snuggled tightly together, she slipped out of the den. A rush of cool air buffeted her fur, and the air was filled with the soothing chirp of crickets. Familiar Thunderclan scents floated all around her. The warmth and peace and happiness of it all filled her with a desperate despair. She lifted her face to the sky, to Silverpelt. The stars shone, small pebbles in an endless stream of blue. "Why?" she whispered. "I never knew he was that cat. And now I am being punished for my foolish ignorance? But the kits! They will never know the love of a father. Only the shame."

* * *

Sasha suddenly heard a rustle and her heart leaped as she saw the muscular body of Tigerstar emerge. "Oh Tigerstar! Come see your kits!" she cooed. He was silent as he stalked over to the two bundles of fur on the ground. He gave each a small sniff, lingering over the big tabby tom. "Excellent," he growled. "Two more warriors for Tigerclan. My blood lives on." Sasha purred softly, only to cover up her fear that surfaced when he hissed those words. It sounded as if Mothkit and Hawkkit were simply prey that could be taken advantage of. Just some more puppets for his clan.

* * *

Tigerstar stepped out of the nursery. He couldn't hide the sneer on his face. Now, he had two more warriors for his clan. Would they be accepted? Of course, now that he was here to train them. Sasha, even being a rogue, had given him some fine cats. And that tom-kit had promise. Oh, yes. Much promise.

* * *

Goldenflower sighed as a gentle wind wrapped around her fur. "'Is that your only answer?" she asked the stars again. "I want love for Bramblekit and Tawnykit. But now I see that Tigerstar is not truly a father. No love resides within his heart. He never truly loved me, nor his kits. No, _my _kits." With that thought, that these kits were hers, and hers alone to nurture and love and teach, her heart swelled with hope. These kits would not feel Tigerstar's hate. They would be hers, and grow to be loyal cats of Thunderclan. As the first rays of sun peeked out from behind the trees, she slid back into the den beside the kits. Perhaps, there was hope after all.

* * *

Sasha dropped her head to the floor. Tigerstar's treatment of his kits gave away the truth. The bond of love that had connected her to him broke, shattered and drifted away. The smooth surface of her desire to be with Tigerstar, her care for him, was disturbed, like a paw sweeping across water to leave ripples flowing in its wake. He didn't love her. And now, he was to use these kits to his advantage. She was a shadow of the past. Her heart grew cold, as if an icy wind had just blown over it. She was suddenly filled with a terrible hate. Hate for Tigerclan. Hate for the forest. Hate for her foolish trust. Hate for Tigerstar. Hate for her kits. They weren't truly hers. Not really her children. Tigerstar wanted them, so he could have them. Sasha stood up, licked the tiny fur balls once more and turned out of the nursery. With a tiny hiss of loathing, she turned her back away from the clan and sprinted away through the trees into the dawn, leaving Hawkkit and Mothkit behind, not even pausing to look back.

* * *

Tigerstar watched as the light emerged from behind the hills. His tail lashed expectantly at the prospect of a new day, another chance to capture Thunderclan and Windclan. "The fools." And now he would have his kits at his side to learn his ways. And with his mind far away from Sasha or Goldenflower, he leaped back on the Bonehill and let out a yowl into the morning. His dawn had come.


End file.
